Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Back to School - 1986



Yes, Rodney Dangerfield. Yes Robert Downey Jr. Yes, Triple Lindy. Yes, this is one of the finest films made in the year 1986. Rodney Dangerfield goes back to school with his son to teach him a lesson, cheat on his English paper by hiring Kurt Vonnegut to write about himself and lay a professor while avoiding academic suspension, throwing massive parties and making fun of Robert Downey Jr's ultra lame nerd character. Oh, did I mention he pulls out the finishing sports finale by doing an impossible dive that requires three (yes, three!) diving boards? Because he does. Plus Oingo Boingo:


Digg Technorati del.icio.us Stumbleupon Reddit Blinklist Furl Spurl Yahoo Simpy

Last House On The Beach - 1978



Sexo y violencia en mass in this giallo film about several women who are raped and killed and then avenged by their nun. Totally cereal, a nun commits the most violent acts. Totes most.

Did I mention I'm still drunk? I am. From last night.


Digg Technorati del.icio.us Stumbleupon Reddit Blinklist Furl Spurl Yahoo Simpy

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Rumpelstiltskin - 1955 & 1965

K. Gordon Murray Presents "RUMPELSTILTSKIN"


K Gordon Murray, keepin' it real. Originally produced in 1955, K Gordo Murrster from Murrville bought it and brought it to the US ten years later to terrify children across the land. Starring nobody you've ever heard of and directed by the very same. I feel like there's probably a link between opening this movie in your local cinema and sociopathic tendencies in your town.


Digg Technorati del.icio.us Stumbleupon Reddit Blinklist Furl Spurl Yahoo Simpy

Monday, September 22, 2008

Devil Dog - 1978



I caught this trailer and immediately went to Netflix to put it on my queue, discovered that it was one of the play-now movies and watched this thing while laughing hysterically. Simply put: This movie is totally awesome. It's a 1978 made-for-tv horror film about a group of satanists who buy a dog for breeding then summon a monster to father the puppies. One of these puppies grows up to become the titular Devil Dog, using his mind powers to seduce the children and the mother of a small suburban family into the dark embrace of Beelzebub. It's up to Richard Crenna to travel to Ecuador, where apparently a thousand years ago early Ecuadorian Christians fought off a similar beast using tattoos on their hands. No, I don't believe it's supposed to make sense. Anyway, the final battle between sweating Crenna and giant blue-screened monster-dog-with-horns is well worth sitting through the hour and thirty-five minutes of radical. For some reason, there's also this:



The movie is cursed! Bwa ha ha ha ha haaa!


Digg Technorati del.icio.us Stumbleupon Reddit Blinklist Furl Spurl Yahoo Simpy

The Explorers - 1985



No, it's not a trailer, unfortunately. It's a seven minute section of the actual film but is pretty accurate to what the rest of the movie is like. Directed by Joe 'Gremlins 2' Dante and intended apparently to ruin the minds of children, just like everything else Joe Dante directed. Featuring River Phoenix and Ethan Hawke in the roles that led to their eventual drug-related deaths (Ethan Hawke's is still coming up).


Digg Technorati del.icio.us Stumbleupon Reddit Blinklist Furl Spurl Yahoo Simpy

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Santa Claus: The Movie - 1985



I vaguely recall this steaming pile of Dudley Moore-driven Cannon Films gold, but had no idea how badly my childhood must have been injured in watching this thing until I took a look at the trailer and felt my brain leak from my ears. Co-starring John Lithgow and directed by the same Frenchman who helmed Jaws 2 and Supergirl. I just can't say enough good things about children's films that deep end badly enough to inspire future sociopaths.


Digg Technorati del.icio.us Stumbleupon Reddit Blinklist Furl Spurl Yahoo Simpy

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Little Red Riding Hood and the Monsters - 1962 {The Party Never Ends Post}



This fucking gem comes straight from the K Gordon Murray, the man who saved hundreds of films (mostly Mexican) from certain death at the hands of time and obscurity. If you've become familiar with the Santo or Blue Demon enmascarado films from the sixties and seventies, it was most likely thanks to this man. But I digress; on to the film at hand.

Originally titled 'Caperucita y Pulgarcito contra los monstruos,' this American version appears to be an insane trip down the psyche of an undead Mexican Walt Disney. It features Little Red Riding Hood, a character from a series of children's films, battling the Wicked Witch of Mexico, clearly modeled after the evil queen from Sleeping Beauty. Along with her pals - a skunk-man, the wolf and an ogre - they fight Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, an ogre with hurricane breath and more. Fun for the whole family!


Digg Technorati del.icio.us Stumbleupon Reddit Blinklist Furl Spurl Yahoo Simpy