Heartburn (1986)

Despite having enough A-listers to fill Hollywood Forever Cemetary, watching this Mike Nichols directed movie is about as fun as sitting in on a stranger's marriage counseling session.

 

Really excited for this! Been awhile since a new anime sparked an interest.

Three Identical Strangers (2018)

SPOLIER: The triplets were separated at birth as part of a science experiment run by a sicko Austrian sociologist.

Frank (2014)

Do you have to be a traumatized man who wears a giant papier-mâché head in order to make great art? Frank posits that yes, you do, but also that every one of us harbors a sensitive, creative soul behind a nightmarish, expressionless mask.

You might just Die Laughin, after watching this masterpiece.
Also, this movie is on DVD and I have it. I got it at Park Meadows at AV Games. on the same disc there is a movie called Peter Rottentail.

This is a great trailer, not exactly SwampCox style, but, it's a great movie you should all see.

Attraction - 2017

For some reason it's cute when Russians try things.

Logan's Run - 1976

I watch this, and I dream of everyone on Tinder dying.

Dead End (2003)

Pack up the kids, they'll be in the car for a LONG time. In Dead End, we see a family of disgruntled people going to an older persons house for Christmas. The scenic road, was it the best choice? I think so, I get funny feelings when I watch this. Feelings of hopelessness too, like in Silent Hill. Very 90s Comedy I think, It's a nice surprise. It's on Amazon Prime at the moment.

Soylent Green (1973)

You can have my Soylent Green when you pry it from my cold dead hands. #misleadingtrailers

Trancers (1984)

Hop on your Vespa, get to the nearest cinema and plug into TRANCERS. Starring Tim Thomerson as Jack Deth, a Trancer hunter from the future travels back in time to kill Whistler, a psychotic hypnotist maniac who converts people into, TRANCERS. Hap Ashby steals the show with his award winning swilling of whiskey, he's a total boozer and it's hilarious. Fuck the Matrix, this film introduces the first true bullet time sequence. So watch it, there are 5 trancer films, the first and second are good.  Helem Lunt is stupid and she can't even dodge bullets...so stupid. The Soundtrack is superb.

Nemesis (1992)

Fake Trailers!

Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | More Video Clips

These aren't even real. They are crap cartoons. But they involve your youth and famous directors' names.

The Road 2009

Holy Fuck!

Air Doll - 2009

This trailer is in Korean with no subtitles, but it's about a sex toy that comes to life, presumably because of an ancient Egyptian curse, if Mannequin has taught me anything about living dolls. But it looks like it might be a really good movie, drifting along miscreant pathways and contemplating love and poetry, which is what the best SE Asian romance dramas seem to do.

Oh! My Zombie Mermaid - 2004

Oh mah gawd.

US DVD release in July 09, apparently. But I want it now!

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans - 2009

Nicholas Cage and Werner Herzog made a movie together. I predict: Best movie ever made (by Nic Cage).

Subspecies I-IV - 1991, 1993, 1994, 1998 {Super Maxi Post}

I remember seeing this movie when I was probably twelve or thirteen years old and not being able to wait for the sequels as they arrived. It was the golden age of Full Moon, AKA the best time for bad horror movies ever, and I think these trailers elucidate that point quite nicely.



It appears to be a pretty straightforward vampire movie, shot in Bucharest, about some girls who get turned into vampires by the evil Radu, who ends up battling his brother, also a vampire, for the life of one of the women with whom he's fallen in love. But since it's Full Moon it's also full of weird little claymation demons for no reason.



Oh man, Subspecies II just amps it up a little more. Now it's suddenly about using this bloodstone to become immortal (I know, he's already immortal, but whatever) and there's a bunch of vampire magic and that chick from the first one's sister is looking for her and totally in danger of being turned into a vampire too! Oh noes!



Yes, yes, Bloodlust! The terror continues this Halloween, '93! Keep it coming, Charles Band. There's no stopping this freight train of awesome now!



So these people just can not fucking die! I think when the actress utters the phrase 'please kill me' she's genuinely asking someone on set to end the franchise. Of course, this was four years after the third, which perhaps implies someone's career didn't go quite as expected. How is it that they keep coming? Every movie ends with Radu dying, then the next movie starts with some crazy ritual to bring him back to life, all so he can go after the same girl? Just get a new one, man! They're all over and you're a crazy monster with super powers! I think this was the point where Full Moon started taking a downward turn, but I fully expect them to shoot a fifth installment someday, revamping the series for a new generation...

Eh, who am I kidding? The only people who will watch the fifth one will be Full Moon losers like myself who saw the originals at the time of release.

And, just because it exists, someone's Subspecies II music video with moody gothic bullshit from Moonspell, who, by the way, look like this:

The Gate-1987

I fucking LOVE this movie, killer moths, wolf-headed dream moms, satanic backward metal,stabbing eye-hands, clay-mation mini-demons, face melts, suburban rocket silos....amazing

Jon Carpenter's The Thing - 1982

So, I think there's a lesson to be learned about remakes with this movie. And that lesson is that your remake doesn't have to be shitty. Because this one is really, really awesome. It could have to do with the fact that it features Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley and voiceover icon Keith David all in one movie. It might be the special effects and their reliance on animatronics and prostheses, as CGI was not an option in '82 and still doesn't carry the same punch. Most likely it's because it's Jon Carpenter and his keyboard-wielding soundtrack-makin' ways turning a concept he experienced as a child into a paranoid arctic tale of alien horror. But whatever the reason, it should be a study in the successful transformation of a classic into a new classic rather than a toss-away summer blockbuster or crapfest slasher.