Showing posts with label Creepy Kid Flick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Creepy Kid Flick. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Something Wicked This Way Comes - 1983



Before this was remade by Stephen King as Needful Things is was the most awesome thing Disney had ever released. It's fucking terrifying and should not be seen by children, and yet it was marketed toward children and I of course saw it at a very young age because, clearly, my parents were not a responsible lot. Jason Robards gets his hand split open by Jonathon Pryce at one point after discovering that the whole carnival is a crazy demonic force that 'comes from the dust and goes to the grave.' Fucking awesome.

I'm a little surprised this wasn't already on here...


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Monday, May 11, 2009

The Frog Prince-2009

I dunno why this movie feels a little racist, I can't put my finger on it.....

*BONUS DISNEY TEMPLATES REVEALED!*


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Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Cat Shit One-2009

Seen any cute, CGI, Iraqi anime war sagas lately?


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Shorts-2009

In a better world these kids would wish that mommy and daddy didn't have to sell the house. Unfortunately in Black falls it's Motorcycles and "telephone-head-sets"


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Thursday, November 20, 2008

Coraline-2009


Neil Gaiman and the directer from Nightmare Before Christmas (Not TIM BURTON mind you)
equals awesome!


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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Rumpelstiltskin - 1955 & 1965

K. Gordon Murray Presents "RUMPELSTILTSKIN"


K Gordon Murray, keepin' it real. Originally produced in 1955, K Gordo Murrster from Murrville bought it and brought it to the US ten years later to terrify children across the land. Starring nobody you've ever heard of and directed by the very same. I feel like there's probably a link between opening this movie in your local cinema and sociopathic tendencies in your town.


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Monday, September 22, 2008

The Explorers - 1985



No, it's not a trailer, unfortunately. It's a seven minute section of the actual film but is pretty accurate to what the rest of the movie is like. Directed by Joe 'Gremlins 2' Dante and intended apparently to ruin the minds of children, just like everything else Joe Dante directed. Featuring River Phoenix and Ethan Hawke in the roles that led to their eventual drug-related deaths (Ethan Hawke's is still coming up).


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Thursday, September 18, 2008

Santa Claus: The Movie - 1985



I vaguely recall this steaming pile of Dudley Moore-driven Cannon Films gold, but had no idea how badly my childhood must have been injured in watching this thing until I took a look at the trailer and felt my brain leak from my ears. Co-starring John Lithgow and directed by the same Frenchman who helmed Jaws 2 and Supergirl. I just can't say enough good things about children's films that deep end badly enough to inspire future sociopaths.


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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Little Red Riding Hood and the Monsters - 1962 {The Party Never Ends Post}



This fucking gem comes straight from the K Gordon Murray, the man who saved hundreds of films (mostly Mexican) from certain death at the hands of time and obscurity. If you've become familiar with the Santo or Blue Demon enmascarado films from the sixties and seventies, it was most likely thanks to this man. But I digress; on to the film at hand.

Originally titled 'Caperucita y Pulgarcito contra los monstruos,' this American version appears to be an insane trip down the psyche of an undead Mexican Walt Disney. It features Little Red Riding Hood, a character from a series of children's films, battling the Wicked Witch of Mexico, clearly modeled after the evil queen from Sleeping Beauty. Along with her pals - a skunk-man, the wolf and an ogre - they fight Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, an ogre with hurricane breath and more. Fun for the whole family!


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Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Demonic Toys-1992

Ummm, the tricycle scene. Rent it and find out.


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Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Let the Right One In-2008

"...tells the story of a lonely twelve year-old boy and his friendship with a young girl, who appears to be a vampire"
-Comingsoon.net


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Sunday, March 2, 2008

Jacob Two Two Meets the Hooded Fang - 1999



This is a clip of Gary Busey playing an ex-wrestler called the Hooded Fang who kidnaps children and forces them to operate a fog machine that will keep his secret headquarters hidden. Apparently Busey has decided that what he wants to do with his career is scare kids.


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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Moonwalker-1988

I want everyone to just watch this. Let us all take a moment of silence and reflect back to an age of innocence. Back to a time when anything was possible...I bring to you Moonwalker, Michael Jackson's sci-fi-pseudo-bio-pic-epic-masterpiece-kid's ride!

This movie is what I have always imagined a pop funeral to look like. Some say when you die your life flashes before your eyes... Don't get it twisted I got love for MJ, but I feel like this movie was the last thing he really put his heart into... before the media cut it out.

The whole movie's not like that though. There's also a sub-plot where Joe Pesci kidnaps 3 orphans and tries to make them do drugs while plotting to destroy the earth with a giant laser cannon. Oh, and this sweet claymation chase scene...

P.S.- You can also watch the whole thing on YouTube... go get it!


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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Where The Wild Things Are *SwampCox Bootleg Edition*-2009?





This is what AICN was sayin' about it.......
Now, I’ve seen this film. Or rather, I saw a version of it. And I can tell you that there’s a reason this film isn’t coming out in 2008 anymore. There’s a lot of work left to do on it, and I wouldn’t be surprised to hear about some fairly massive reshoots in the months ahead.
I wish I could be more specific, but because of how I saw it, I can’t offer any sort of real review. I can tell you that there’s something odd about the clip above. The Wild Thing in that clip is Carrol, played in the version I saw by James Gandolfini. That is most definitely NOT Gandolfini’s voice in that clip though. But it’s a very finished piece of film, because in the rough footage, none of the Wild Things have articulated faces. The costumes were all built to have immobile features that would be replaced in post-production by CGI, and it looks like this clip has had that work done on it.

So what are we looking at? Tone-wise, this is the film. It’s a little bit strange, a little bit sad, and it looks like a real world, not some greenscreen fantasy land.

We’ll keep you posted on this one as work continues on it, but for right now, this one’s a looooooooong way away, so enjoy this little taste.


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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Mac and Me-1988

It's time to test your trailer skills again kiddies. I present to you two trailers below. One shows the true nature of this twisted childhood brain stab. The other is a false advertisement for some kid's movie from the 80's. Choose the sword...or choose the ball and follow your Mother in death. Choose wisely...
TRAILER 1


TRAILER 2


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Friday, January 25, 2008

Saturday The 14th-1981/ Saturday The 14th Strikes Back-1988 { Double Counter Strike Edition }

 I'll see your HOUSE  post and raise a Saturday The 14th double slam. SWOOSH! Nothing but net.

SATURDAY THE 14TH-1981

SATURDAY THE 14TH STRIKES BACK-1988



Movies about weird white people living in even weirder houses.


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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Invaders From Mars-1986

There have been numerous times when I have tried describing this movie to people at parties while I was under the influence. Unfortunately I was never able to remember the name of this cinematic phantom from my childhood long forgotten so I would call it " That movie where people get sucked underground and have their brains switched by those giant meat-ball things"
Sadly, nobody knew what the fuck I was talking about and dismissed my drunken rant as some straight to DVD sequel of TREMORS or concluded that I was making it up for some twisted form of attention. Well I finally found the trailer. The movie is real and not a figment of my imagination. Dre wins.
P.S.-It's also directed by Tobe Hooper ( Texas Chainsaw Massacre ) So I jus' got bonus points for seeing it before I turned 12. oh snap!


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Saturday, January 12, 2008

Critters 2-THE MAIN COURSE-1988


This movie is so emotionally confusing to watch. One minute your laughing you're ass off, then the next you're trying to hold back tears because the Easter Bunny jus' jumped through a church window with blood spilling out the side of his mouth.

This is basically how the whole movie plays out.


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Fantastic Planet-1973

One of my favorite movies of all time! I saw this when I was 16 and haven't been the same since. This was also the movie Jenifer Lopez was watching in THE CELL while she was smoking that joint.


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Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Reflecting Skin (1990)



The events in this movie make little sense in a vacuum. A troupe of murderous greasers, an English vampire in love with Viggo Mortensen, a calcified fetus, and rural Idaho. But woven together by the curiously horrifying script of Phillip Ridley, they acquire a gestalt majesty. It doesn't make logical sense, but it all seems disturbingly familiar.


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