POSTED: SWAMPCOX (in your mouth) IS NO LONGER A TRAILER BLOG. IT IS NOW A SHORT FILM / ARTISTIC COMMERCIAL / CELEBRITY WORK OUT VIDEO BLOG.
-New Management
Ok, so all I could find was a trailer for this short film. Don't blame me, blame our fascistic copyright laws (more like copyFIGHT, am I right Cory Doctorow??? Just kidding. I fucking hate you.)
What you don't get to see in this trailer is the banquet of viscera the dinner party insatiably gorges itself on. Waiters continually load the table until the mounting pile of organs and flesh cause it to crash down to the next floor, and then the next, and the next, and well you get the point.
If there's a film festival near you, see if they're playing this; it's the best 11 minutes I spent in the dark all last year.
Okay, so, guess who couldn't find a trailer in English? Oh, yeah, me. But to be fair, I didn't try very hard at all to find one. Anyway, this movie is about three guys who accidentally get voodooed into persons who can't die, then die, then become re-animated and go to high school. It's pretty self-explanatory - particularly if you speak German - but it's three-twenty in the am and I don't feel like seeking out an NTSC friendly version, so this is what you get. Still, pretty great.
I could go on and say all sorts of things about this movie, but someone in the comments section of IMDB already wrote about it at length. Thus I give you Woodyanders review of Necromaniac: Scizophreniac 2.
"If you ever wanted to see a gratingly overwrought Howard Stern all jacked up on speed horribly overplay a demented, cross-dressing, masturbating, mother-hating, whore-slaughtering, high decibel profanity-spewing, corpse-fornicating ("I love *beep*in' 'em when they're dead"), smack-shooting, brain-eating, gay-bashing, spastic fit-throwing, hallucinating, totally whacked out of his mind with a toxically murderous mixture of misogynistic rage and psychopathic fury racist lunatic serial killer who went around the bloodthirsty bend because his nasty abusive slut of a mommy liked to shove a beer bottle up his butt as a little boy and now gleefully butchers folks as a crazed nutjob adult when he isn't running around stark naked screaming unprintable vile epithets at the top of his lungs in a hideously redundant, tiresomely strident, completely uninsightful and so aggressively base that it's merely annoying instead of remotely amusing or offensive downright lousy gore opus, then this fetid, obnoxious, sex, rape, nudity and violence-laden worthless chunk of dreadfully puerile splatter porn schlock is just the movie for you."
I should note that this review was negative, even though it basically makes this movie sound like the greatest thing ever.
I think this trailer pretty much speaks for itself. In fact, you probably don't really even have to watch the movie, given that six full minutes of this is pretty well dedicated to narrating the plot while showing you the gore. What is worth mentioning about this trailer is that it was directed by Doris Wishman, who is my new favorite legendary grindhouse cinema figure. Here are a few other titles from Wishman:
Dildo Heaven Satan Was a Lady Keyholes Are For Peeping Too Much Too Often Nude On the Moon
The list goes on, every single title a little snippet of brilliance. Also, she went under the names of various other men and women for many of these productions. According to IMDB, Anthony Brooks, Dee Ess, El Ess, Luigi Manicottale, O.O. Miller, L. Silverman, Louis Silverman, Melvin Stanley, D. Whitman, Dawn Whitman and Kenyon Wintel were all pseudonyms used at various times. You've gotta be pretty awesome if you need that many different names to get work.
Holy shit, Nightbeast. I wish I could take credit for finding this, but I pulled it from a forum where someone had graciously left it to be watched, watched again and then watched a third and final time before wrapping my head completely around it. I just couldn't stop laughing. This is definitely in the top ten trailers on this blog.
I've seen this one twice now. I still don't really know what happens (do to no subtitles on my copy) except that there is a car accident which results in the hiring of the Mexican Mafia and no one can die no matter how much gore come out of them. Gore as far as the eye can see. Does it hold up as a good movie though?
No day is complete without a trailer from the Godfather of Gore himself, Herschell Gordon Lewis (possibly sic). Blood Feast is the story of an egyptian butcher who needs parts of several women to raise an ancient Goddess from her millenia-old sleep to conquer the world, or at least New York City. Bumbling cops give chase but can't catch the madman.
Homemade video from three psychopathic killers as they rampage across town, kidnapping, murdering, raping and generally being horrible, horrible people. Second in a trilogy, the first was delivered on an unmarked tape that appeared to be the actual snuff exploits of two maniacs until the distributor's name popped up on screen and assured you that it was, indeed, fake.
Nekromantik - possibly the finest film about a young couple sharing a passion for dead things. Also the site of the most amazing climax ever put to celluloid.
