Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans - 2009

Nicholas Cage and Werner Herzog made a movie together. I predict: Best movie ever made (by Nic Cage).

Necromaniac: Scizophreniac 2 - 2003

I could go on and say all sorts of things about this movie, but someone in the comments section of IMDB already wrote about it at length. Thus I give you Woodyanders review of Necromaniac: Scizophreniac 2.

"If you ever wanted to see a gratingly overwrought Howard Stern all jacked up on speed horribly overplay a demented, cross-dressing, masturbating, mother-hating, whore-slaughtering, high decibel profanity-spewing, corpse-fornicating ("I love *beep*in' 'em when they're dead"), smack-shooting, brain-eating, gay-bashing, spastic fit-throwing, hallucinating, totally whacked out of his mind with a toxically murderous mixture of misogynistic rage and psychopathic fury racist lunatic serial killer who went around the bloodthirsty bend because his nasty abusive slut of a mommy liked to shove a beer bottle up his butt as a little boy and now gleefully butchers folks as a crazed nutjob adult when he isn't running around stark naked screaming unprintable vile epithets at the top of his lungs in a hideously redundant, tiresomely strident, completely uninsightful and so aggressively base that it's merely annoying instead of remotely amusing or offensive downright lousy gore opus, then this fetid, obnoxious, sex, rape, nudity and violence-laden worthless chunk of dreadfully puerile splatter porn schlock is just the movie for you."

I should note that this review was negative, even though it basically makes this movie sound like the greatest thing ever.

Bachelor Party + Bachelor Party II - 1984 + 2008

That's right, rocketing Tom Hanks into the soaring, atmospheric heights of his career, is fuel fodder Bachelor Party, which features such lines as "Gentleman, start your boners" and "Hi, come on in! Drugs to the right, hookers to the left." And coming soon, direct to DVD, the sequel.

Cocaine Wars - 1985

Hello? Am I alone in here? Anyone feel like posting besides me? Aw, well...

Anyhoo, here's a teaser trailer for a classic eighties piece of shit called Cocaine Wars. It's actually only about one war, but pluralizing is awesome, so whatevs. It follows the convoluted tale of DEA agent Cliff Adams as he works for a cocaine czar in South America who's attempting to assassinate the president. For some reason, Cliff's wife is doing a news story on the drug lord, so he kidnaps her. Only Cliff can stop the madman from killing a president and save his wife's life! ZOMG!

The Faculty - 1998

Yeah, so this trailer actually has footage from Scream, Desperado and From Dusk Till Dawn before it even attempts to get to the trailer for the Faculty. Were they afraid that seeing a bunch of kids murder their alien teachers wouldn't pack enough punch? Everything about the plot description of this movie is totally teenage ass-kickery. I mean, it's about kids who get high to prove they're not body-snatched and then go on an ill fated killing spree. Did somebody think that wasn't enough? Really?

LSD: Trip or Trap? - 1967

Part one of three of a late sixties educational documentary about the dangers and horrors of LSD. SEE! the horrific events that lead to tragedy! HEAR! the psychedelic sounds that accompany any group of acid-heads! FEEL! the absolute spinal chill of hallucinogenic drug use!

Also, I'm pretty sure one of the drug users is riding a Puch moped in one of the scenes.

Italian Spiderman-1964

CIAO! CIAO! CIAO!

Shrooms-2006 (Ireland) 2008 (U.S.)

I can't understand a single word any of these people are saying.

Black Roses (1988)

Black Roses concerns a Heavy Metal band that is literally the spawn of Satan. Soon after their kick ass gig in a midwestern town, the local youth begin to fornicate, murder their parents, and transform into hideous demons.

The movie is a pleasant journey back in time to a more innocent America. A carefree era when parents lost sleep over the specter of spandex-clad long-haired British men shrieking about a Medieval conflation of Hebrew demons.

In this age of relentless irony, I can't help but look back wistfully on the days when Satan actually scared the shit out of people.

The Invasion of the Thunderbolt Pagoda

Not sure if this counts as a trailer....but here it is, feel free to "Wtf?!?" at it...

Blood Freak (1972)

To my knowledge there has only ever been one movie that can be described as a Pro-Jesus Anti-Marijuana Turkey-Monster movie, and Blood Freak would be it. It is an amazing specimen in the exploitation genre as it is a christian propaganda movie that was rated X and contained gore, sex and drug use. I have to assume that they were trying lure in people who like this stuff and then try to convert them. Who would have ever thunk it that a Christian movie would have gore in it. (cough)

The Holy Mountain (1973)

Spoiler Ahead! (highlight to read)
At the end a chick fucks a mountain.

The Black Hole Trailer-1979

Basically... the kid version of Event Horizon. Seriously.

Return to Oz (1985)

Sometimes I lose sleep over this movie...